You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
