Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm sobbing to NWA
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
