I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
then he tried to convert me to islam
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
