If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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