You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
