If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You're like the curious george of whores
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
