god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
