I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
