His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
