3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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