I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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