a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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