writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
