I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
