every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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