That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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