Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
