They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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