Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
