dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
