he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
