Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
