we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
