Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
