i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
try to milk me bitch
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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