I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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