What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
