i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
