Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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