I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
