He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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