still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
