THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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