Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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