I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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