Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
