I cockslap morals
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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