It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
