Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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