Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
