be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
