I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
