he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
