did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
