Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
