so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
