My balls are so social today.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
