I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
