the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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