i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i need some magic done to my vagina
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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